The Suicidal Octopus

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Now in a TINY ASS SCREEN flavour!

¤ February 28, 2017 ¤

♬ Character Talk: Verdieux

This post pertains to: Comic

This is a post about one of my characters from my comic, Verdieux.

When I made him he was originally this grimdark (or as I found a term today, “grimderp”) dude who has been fucked (literally) throughout his entire life.

I presented him as this edgy and silent stereotypical assassin. He murdered for fun, trying to find some semblance in his life through killing. Also he raped a lot of his women victims.

That sounds really bad, doesn’t it? We’re supposed to like this dude as a protagonist. It sounds bad. I wrote a few things with him in it but since he isn’t a prominent character until later, he kinda metaphorically fermented in my mind. I didn’t really even give him much thought after that. As I said, he isn’t important for a long time. But recently, I’m not sure what happened, but suddenly I was able to understand the character. I don’t know whether it’s because I watched media with a character that inspired me or what, but V’s character magically made sense to me.

This guy has had a hard life, plain and simple. Circumstances led him to become a prostitute and later an assassin. But instead of the edgy, grimdark personality I originally intended, for whatever reason it clicked that he would actually be kind of smooth. I’m not sure how to describe it. I see his character in my head but I’m unable to articulate it.

He really wants to settle down with someone, so he will literally ask someone at knifepoint for a date. But he isn’t a sinister person. He is actually very friendly and polite, and while I still see him as quiet, he is articulate in his speech and doesn’t beat around the bush.

I don’t really see him feeling anything about his assassin job other than it’s a job. He’s not a weird sociopath who takes sadistic pleasure in killing anybody anymore. He just does it so he can get paid.

He also was supposed to have an obsession with E-chan, but the more I thought about it the less it made sense. I’m actually thinking of pairing him with Jay now which is an interesting combo… a prostitute assassin dating a celibate pacifist veteran combat medic!

Maybe I can make his character even more clear when the time comes for him to actually make a debut, but I’m surprised at how much his character changed from a weird grimderp sadistic killer to just a guy who kills people for money and also really wants to get a date.


♥ Posted at 12:32:27 am CST

¤ January 16, 2017 ¤

♬ Snails on my face: A Korean skin care post

This post pertains to: Consumerism

It’s been a year since I posted, mostly because I’ve had nothing to write about in a whole year.

I have something now, and it’s about Korean skin care. There apparently has been a big craze over Korean skin care with the rise of famous Kpop stars becoming more prominent in English-speaking countries and whatnot, and think that looking at their porcelain plastic surgery-laden skin fortells that Korean skin products are miracles.

As you might know, I have dealt with acne since I was 11 and it has never gone away, ever. So my skin is horrible and fucked up.

During Black Friday, I went on a binge on Amazon and bought a shitton of stuff and came upon Korean skin care as one of their “new finds” categories. I’m not sure what made me do it, but I figured, hey why not, and bought a few things. I was very confused on what to get because I didn’t look at any kind of list or anything (like here), I literally went off of people’s reviews of products on what to get. So, the general guideline is 10 steps, but I have like…five. Cause I didn’t read the memo.

I’ve been using this stuff for about a month and a half (roughly half a month for my cleanser, which arrived later) and I THINK it’s helping. I mean, I definitely see a huge difference in the reduction of blemishes, redness, etc. on my face before and after I use it in the morning. And, it clears up most of my acne in a couple days. But I’m going to write a list of what I have so far.

Korean 10-step skin care list

  1. Oil-based cleanser: apparently you only need this if you use makeup. I didn’t know there were two types of cleanser for this so I just got one, thankfully it was the right one, water based.
  2. Water-based cleanser: I use Laneige Pore Deep Clearing Foam, it lathers so well and feels soooo nice to put on your skin. It has a very neutral smell and washes off easily. It’s probably my favourite part of all of this.
  3. Exfoliation: nothing korean here, just Burt’s Bees Peach & Willowbark Deep Pore Scrub. I actually have two exfoliators, one is a generic brand and then this brand one. I don’t really like this one as it doesn’t really spread easily and you have to use a shitton just to cover your face. Granted, you are only supposed to do this about two times a week. But it just seems wasteful. I think I will try a Korean one when this runs out.
  4. Toner: Etude House 10-in-1 House Wonder Pore Freshener off a recommendation from a review. I definitely notice my pores being smaller afterwards.
  5. Essence: This part confuses me because I don’t really see any effect or understand what essence does, but it’s apparently a very vital step in the skin care regimen. I use TONYMOLY Intense Care Galactomyces Lite Essence and it’s a watery substance you wipe on your face. if I understand it correctly, it seems to be like primer in terms of make up, in that you put it on your face first so that the rest of the stuff in your regimen is effective.  However, while trying to find a serum for the next step, I stumbled upon BENTON Snail Bee High Content Essence which I bought to eventually replace TONYMOLY’s when it runs out…or maybe sooner. People were raving about it reducing blemishes and whatnot so I figured I’d try, I also will admit I did buy it because it had snail AND bee in the title.
  6. Serums, boosters and ampoules: I did not realize it but when I bought tea tree oil it actually would count as this step. I did it wrong the first few weeks; so you’re supposed to dilute the oil with a carrier oil which I didn’t do. But now I dilute it with almond oil and that counts for this step. However, I recently bought  Skin Food Peach Sake Pore Serum and am waiting it to arrive in February (long ass time to wait but hey, it was free shipping). From what I read it reduces pore sizes and controls sebum which is great for me because my skin is oily as SHIT. we’ll see how it goes.
  7. Sheet Mask: Apparently this step is important too but I find it a waste of money… you can buy a pack of 5 sheet masks for around $15 and probably totals at $20-$22 with shipping, that’s spending $22 every 5 weeks to put it on your face. Most of the previously listed products I bought were around $15-$20 each and they are only about 3/4ths the way done after ~6 weeks. I don’t feel like it is worth it for these sheet masks.
  8. Eye Cream: I don’t like the bags under my eyes but most of the time they are covered by my glasses so I won’t bother with this.
  9. Moisturizer: I currently use MIZON All in One Snail Repair Cream. I’m kinda meh about it. I’m not sure if it’s me getting the almond oil mixed up with the consistency of the moisturizer but sometimes my face will still dry out after applying this cream. Furthermore there doesn’t really seem to be much in there so I feel like I have to use it sparingly.
  10. Sun protection: I didn’t get this initialyl because I don’t go out in the sun like the NEET I am but I realized that I walk my dog and am therefore getting sunlight, so I bought something cheap, MISSHA All-Around Safe Block Soft Finish Sun Milk SPF50. I haven’t received it yet so we will see if it helps.

Hopefully I will see a difference with the new products and my money hasn’t been entirely wasteful.

♥ Posted at 5:10:30 pm CST

¤ April 18, 2016 ¤

♬ Context in Japanese Phrases

This post pertains to: Moonrunes

Japanese is an extremely contextual language. A lot of the common phrases people know like “konnichiwa” and “arigatou gozaimasu” actually mean completely different things.

I read an example where a person went to the reception and asked to see someone. The receptionist replied with “失礼ですが”. The literal translation is “It is rude, but…” In this situation, it actually means the receptionist is asking for their name. Isn’t that strange? “shitsurei desu ga” and “sumimasen” both basically mean “excuse me,” but the former is used when asking things about the addressee. The latter is used when asking the addressee to do something.

In addition, those words like “konnichiwa” are actually shortened versions of full sentences. 今日は is actually part of a longer sentence which goes something like, “as for today, how are you?” But that’s implied by context, and now it has just turned into a greeting.

I also learned that emoji is actually a Japanese word, 絵文字! I guess it seems obvious when you know that kaomoji (顔文字) is a very obvious japanese word, but I never really thought about it.

♥ Posted at 11:51:38 am CST

¤ March 4, 2016 ¤

♬ Fuck this shit

This post pertains to: Rants

This bullshit is really pissing me off lately…

I have a form of eczema called dyshidrosis where little itchy blisters from on your hands and feet which become rashes and your skin hard, I guess? Shit’s SO fucking annoying. When I was a teenager it used to be really bad, where my skin would flake off and become raw to the point where I couldn’t touch anything with my fingers without burning pain and had to wear gloves to do anything. It’s gotten better but it;s still shitty so YEAH

Then there’s my fav condition called CDDD (cervical degenerative disk disease) which I got diagnosed with at 20 but have never been able to treat it because LOL ANYTHING INVOLVING MEDICAL SERVICE COSTS TOO MUCH MONEY…. so I’ve learned to live with and make accommodations for it, it fucking sucks changing your life to suit a god damn condition. Like fuck off, it’s my body not yours. Why do I have to change what I do to suit YOU? Get the fuck out of my spine you piece of shit. Anyway this disease causes the disks between my vertebrae to deteriorate, what this translates to is that any pressure on my spine causes me pain because there is little left of the disks to absorb the weight. This means I can’t sit up straight in chairs and small things like wear necklaces or shirts that are too close to my neck. So I spend my time slouching and it’s really embarrassing sometimes because general etiquette says that when you slouch you’re being rude, but like I LITERALLY CAN’T SIT UP OR ELSE I WILL BE IN PAIN. And I can’t really go “oh sorry I have X medical condition” every time I have to explain myself so like… idk it’s annoying sometimes even though I haven’t put any weight on my neck at all (slouching all day) my neck STILL decides to hurt.

Oh and I also have hyperhidrosis which makes you sweaty. ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Shaking hands? I can’t do that. Wearing any kind of closed shoe without socks is a potion to knock anyone out the moment I take my shoes off. Wearing light-coloured shirts that are too close to my armpits? yeah no. shit’s more wet than a fucking swamp in a minute.

fuck this shit. it could be worse but hey I’m not gonna get into a pissing contest about who has the worse conditions.

♥ Posted at 6:54:45 pm CST

¤ February 24, 2016 ¤

♬ “It’s just a game, it doesn’t have to be real!”

This post pertains to: Thoughts

How does someone respond to this statement?

I thought about it and how a lot of the costumes in Butts & Sluts are super revealing. I don’t really care about that because the lead artist (Hyung-Tae Kim) basically revolves all his art around sexy ladies so it’s to be expected in a game that’s about fanservice and doing kung fu in a hooker outfit. I want more practical cool armour, but I can’t really help but think about that one line that dismisses my entire preference.

“Who cares? Why do you want realism and practicality in a video game? It’s not real, it’s just fantasy, it doesn’t have to adhere to real life.”

Well… yea, but that doesn’t mean you can make an entire game 100% illogical, it has to have some basis in reality. I don’t really know how to respond to that kind of statement. When someone brings up that “argument” in relation to wanting practical armour I feel shut down. Yes they’re right it’s a video game you don’t have to make everything 100% realistic. But I like having practical stuff too, it doesn’t hurt.

Hooker outfits: sweet man
Practical stuff: douchebag fag

♥ Posted at 8:27:28 pm CST