The Suicidal Octopus

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Ye Olde Sunken Treasure: Art Archives

You’d think otherwise…

¤ July 4, 2018 ¤

♬ The Pornblog Saga Continues

This post pertains to: ArtDepressionThoughts


My porn blog now has over 100 followers… i drew a picture thanking them. it isn’t much, 100 followers… compared to insta thots who have millions. but when you think about it, it means that at least a hundred unique people saw and liked my work.

i recently joined a shota community too where i post my stuff. i feel like it’s the one place i actually am wanted? the dark abyss of social media has really taken a toll on my mental health and i feel like just catering directly to my target audience takes out a lot of the stress and angst. i’m so tired of posting my work to social media and getting no feedback while my peers get undying support and love. is it because i have no friends? i’m not going to get into that, that’s a separate post all together. but i’m pretty sure my inability to make meaningful connections with other artists is part of the reason i feel so alone.

anyway the people there are nice and welcome me, and say nice things to me. that’s really all i yearn for, i just want to be loved for the work i do. don’t we all? unfortunately it seems i can only get people to care about what i draw if it’s porn.

well, even though i joined a forum full of weird sexperverts with a sexual attraction to little boys, their friendliness is soothing and it helps give the validation i crave.

i guess this is why i’m making a character who will do anything to be liked, huh?


♥ Posted at 4:26:02 am CST

¤ May 10, 2018 ¤

♬ Lewds

This post pertains to: ArtUpdates

So yeah, I draw porn now, I want to say it started in mid-april, I was bored of stuff i was drawing so I somehow gravitated to porn even though ive been too embarrassed to draw porn my entire life.

Well, since I started posting it on my pixiv I get at least a few followers a day, haha. its pretty fun, but… I probably have to keep it a secret because it’s shota porn, and so that’s legal grey area and all that regarding CP.

but i’m not hurting anyone and im having a blast so im gonna keep doing it.


♥ Posted at 1:18:43 am CST

¤ January 15, 2018 ¤

♬ A comeback

This post pertains to: ArtDepression

It’s been a long three years since I started my comic. As you can see, I abandoned this blog in favour of social media, so I could build an audience for my comic. But I think that was a mistake.

As I kept posting more and more, I became more greedy for the validation of strangers. I craved likes, comments, all that bullshit, as if it were my only sustenance. But I could never really get a foothold anywhere in the art world. I made acquaintances, I liked things I saw on my timeline, they liked some of my things.

However, it all hit me today. I had entered the fanart contest for a game I’m playing. I spent a long time on it and it’s one of like, three pieces of 2017 that I could say I was proud of. I thought I was finally getting somewhere with my art goals.

As you might’ve guessed I didn’t get picked as one of the winners and I was pretty bummed. After some other bad events happened I came to a realization. It wasn’t the fanart contest itself, but I realized the actual problem:

I am not that good. Actually, I am bad.

The reason I can’t gain a foothold anywhere is because I am bad. I am bad as a person and bad at art. My art is not attractive to anyone. I keep telling myself to learn an attractive anime style so people would like my art more and be more receptive to it but no matter what I do it never comes out looking like I want.

I’m just bad.

Therefore, I’m closing off my social media posting to return to this blog once again, to all 2 people who know it exists. I don’t have to worry about comments or likes or shit like that here, I can just share my work and not have to yearn for hearts from strangers. I’m tired of being shackled to fake internet lovelove points. Why can’t I be bad and just not have to feel bad for being bad? All I want to do is just make anime waifus and husbandous.

I’ve caught up to the current year and have uploaded all the stuff I missed, so the rest of 2016/2017 should be filled.

I’ll continue my bad art journey away from prying eyes. I’ll also be posting a summary of the things that’ve happened since I stopped posting here. This site is several years old and it’s got a lot of fucked up design choices on it, maybe I’ll revisit it and build it from a template like a normal person.


♥ Posted at 5:25:54 pm CST

¤ January 28, 2016 ¤

♬ M-a-n-g-u-s

This post pertains to: ArtComic

Magnus has been through a lot of designing. I have always had difficulty drawing his head at different angles because I made the front view of his head LITERALLY SQUARE. So in different angles I freaked out because the shape of his face was no longer the same!

magnus_faces

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♥ Posted at 5:42:44 pm CST

¤ September 3, 2015 ¤

♬ The first con preparation

This post pertains to: ArtComic

So I’ve officially decided to get a booth at CAKE next year, though if I’ll ever get in that is the question because I don’t know when they open applications. Nonetheless I have been prepping myself for various con-related things. There are a lot of expenses and I don’t think I’ll break even, but everyone always says your first cons are about promotion and not about money. I have a lot on my to do list…

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♥ Posted at 5:56:36 pm CST