The Suicidal Octopus

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Now in a TINY ASS SCREEN flavour!

¤ January 15, 2018 ¤

♬ A comeback

This post pertains to: ArtDepression

It’s been a long three years since I started my comic. As you can see, I abandoned this blog in favour of social media, so I could build an audience for my comic. But I think that was a mistake.

As I kept posting more and more, I became more greedy for the validation of strangers. I craved likes, comments, all that bullshit, as if it were my only sustenance. But I could never really get a foothold anywhere in the art world. I made acquaintances, I liked things I saw on my timeline, they liked some of my things.

However, it all hit me today. I had entered the fanart contest for a game I’m playing. I spent a long time on it and it’s one of like, three pieces of 2017 that I could say I was proud of. I thought I was finally getting somewhere with my art goals.

As you might’ve guessed I didn’t get picked as one of the winners and I was pretty bummed. After some other bad events happened I came to a realization. It wasn’t the fanart contest itself, but I realized the actual problem:

I am not that good. Actually, I am bad.

The reason I can’t gain a foothold anywhere is because I am bad. I am bad as a person and bad at art. My art is not attractive to anyone. I keep telling myself to learn an attractive anime style so people would like my art more and be more receptive to it but no matter what I do it never comes out looking like I want.

I’m just bad.

Therefore, I’m closing off my social media posting to return to this blog once again, to all 2 people who know it exists. I don’t have to worry about comments or likes or shit like that here, I can just share my work and not have to yearn for hearts from strangers. I’m tired of being shackled to fake internet lovelove points. Why can’t I be bad and just not have to feel bad for being bad? All I want to do is just make anime waifus and husbandous.

I’ve caught up to the current year and have uploaded all the stuff I missed, so the rest of 2016/2017 should be filled.

I’ll continue my bad art journey away from prying eyes. I’ll also be posting a summary of the things that’ve happened since I stopped posting here. This site is several years old and it’s got a lot of fucked up design choices on it, maybe I’ll revisit it and build it from a template like a normal person.

♥ Posted at 5:25:54 pm CDT

6 songbirds singing “A comeback” ♬

OYARSA sung at May 4, 2018 7:19 pm:

I like your artwork.

I’m sure you could copy one of the popular anime/manga styles if you’re concerned about being mainstream, but my favorite artists are usually the ones with their own distinct styles. ‘Angel Densetsu’ has one of the most amateur drawings, but it has its own cult following.

Don’t worry about fan art contests or any other popularity contest. Those bandwagon fans are the type to jump ship whenever something else comes along. You do you and the fans you make from that are going to be lifelong genuine ones.

I’m a good example of one!

    Anni sung at May 6, 2018 1:36 am:

    Thanks, Oya. I’m trying to combine my own style with a more anime-esque way of drawing. It’s difficult but if I keep trying I’m sure I’ll get there…

Alex sung at May 20, 2018 4:14 pm:

Hope life is going well for you, I’m not actually a direct fan, I happened to see your name on an RO Sprite sheet I opened up while updating my archive and looked up your name out of curiosity. One of those “Where are they now” Kind of things.

I’d been collecting and archiving RO sprites for almost 10 years now and wanted to make a sprite comic of my own I just never got around to it. Angevon seems to be busy with life these days and the RO scene, especially the Drunk Duck comic days have been long dead, but I keep collecting as a hobby. Seeing your name was a blast from the past and I really do hope youre doing well and not letting life get you uninspired to do what you love. Everyone seems to be in a dark place these days, but I hope I could have shined a bit of life back into your life with a few words. Thanks for making the sheets that got me into the scene and thanks for checkin in on your site still.

Chris sung at July 3, 2018 6:59 pm:

So this is a bit surreal. Was searching for YinLan, my old nickname from the Graal days just to see what popped up and here I am! Who knows how many hours I spent playing that game, building levels and quests for the NPulse server. Wish I’d kept in touch with more of the TCN people.

Nostalgia time.

Anyway, email me Anni. I play(ed) GW2 and make weird indie games that I almost never finish (

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